Lines in the Sand.

So...

It feels like it's been awhile since I've put dribbles of the digital sort to this paper. I might as well just give you more bad news, since you're used to hearing about it from me anyway. Yes, Gun is kind of on a hiatus right now. I'm in the process of moving, and my technical limitations will be many and arduous. Not to mention, I'm starting a new job and I simply don't know yet when I'd find the time to work on it, even if I did have the tools at my disposal. As it stands right now, I'm unable to move forward with the episode for the time being, due to boundaries of equipment and productivity.

The second episode is in no way, shape, or form scrapped. Gun WILL be completed. It's not over. Not by a longshot. It's just going to take a few extra steps before I can get there.

What this means is simply this - until I can get back to Gun work, I'm going to be pouring my artistic energies into areas that I've largely ignored in recent times, just in order to stay sharp and focused and give my mind that casual bit of respite it seeks from time to time. What this means is that in the coming weeks, there will actually be consistently new content on the damn website for once! As soon as I find the avenues through which I can air new things, it will be on the world's stage that we call the internet.

I'm wishing I could just cap off my pride and joy and finish this episode now, but I'm looking forward to the active reprieve. It should result in many fun and interesting things. Fingers crossed.

See you there.

The Yodeler.

School was the bomb this morn. First time I visited such an ethnically diverse school, which is such a cool environment for kids I think. They were all super nice and loved doing our surveys. Kids are great.


I finally got a chance to go see my older brother today too, while he was at work in his NYPD blues. I told him about everything that's happening, and he was really proud of me and pretty happy about it. That's the first person in my family so far who has had a completely positive reaction to all this. What a relief.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually sleepy. I've been up since 5:40AM. normally i just stay awake in insomniac mode, but for some reason i just want to nap out right now. probably won't since I still have more stuff to sort out.

Stress Rap.

Week Four (so to speak), was a major week. The week of change and transition. The week of massive stress. The week where I realize how much shit I have ahead of me, and how little time I have left to get it all sorted.

That's the week that just passed.

Last night, I sat down on my couch, started watching some "First 48" (I love that show), and I passed the fuck out within the first 15 LOL. I don't think I've ever been more tired and stressed. Things with this job have taken massive, massive turns and I'll be explaining more about it in a short while. When the time is right.

This is just a small update to say that Real Life has made me its bitch this week. I want to work on Gun so badly, this moratorium is killing me. Especially facing the challenges that are ahead, this is going to be a total uphill battle on the creative front. I'd like to be cranking out new art, making headway on the final scene of Gun, and updating the website, but it's so hard to get the downtime to do these things, and it seems like whenever I do get a little bit of time for it, I'm so damn drained that I literally fall asleep at the computer. I wish there was more I could do to make this shit work better in tandem with the "life stuff." All I can do is wade in the water for now and see where the hell I end up.

At least today is Saturday.

Waiting.

This is a very brief update.

I'm just waiting. Waiting for something big to happen. I don't know which direction it's going to come from, but it's gonna be very difficult. I keep having fucked up dreams that I won't even get into right now. I always feel like I'm about to explode. I've been extremely irritable lately, and very impatient with people around me. I bark statements at them, ignore them when they talk to me, vent frustrations at them, and do all sorts of other shit I have no business doing. I'm sleeping very little these days.

I'm ready to fucking explode. I'm going absolutely crazy with a million very heavy things in my head, and there's no one I can really talk to about this stuff. Nobody.

So I put it out there for all to read anonymously. Behold the warmth and connectedness of the digital age.

What a waste of emotional resources.

Blah.

and I still haven't had a chance to really work on Gun.

Whirlwinds.

Hi, hey, ho,

What's good.

I'm updating people on the status of shit in "Heretik Land", AKA my life. So basically here's the scenario... I haven't had chances to work on Gun consistently, and that does suck. But it's with very good reason. I'm gonna explain to you now what's been happening and what's about to happen (sort of).

In early April I started a new job with Yale. I'm a survey administrator, based in New York City. This means that I've been going around to countless elementary schools in Brooklyn and Queens and administering surveys to students and teachers. It's a pretty cool gig. I get to hit up so many different parts of New York that I've never explored before and I'm never in the same place twice, which I like. I enjoy working with students and teachers are usually cool and have interesting things to say, and they and their principals have valuable insights into American education.

However, this job entails that I generally wake up every data collection day sometime between 4:30AM and 5:30AM. Then I have to take very long, very irksome, very early subway journeys to various neighborhoods in the outer boroughs of New York. Then I have to go to sleep around 10PM. This is not normal for me at all. Usually, I work on Gun during the wee hours, since this is my only real quiet time. But now that quiet time is dedicated to sleep. And what little other time there is, I devote to my social life, because I am NOT giving that up.

So that's the current sitch. This gig lasts until the end of this month. THEN, the people at Yale have offered me another research position, to begin in June. This one might actually require that I move. It's a summer position, from June through August. I still don't know if I'll take it, but it's very tempting, and I am leaning towards saying yes to it. The work is really interesting, and is largely related to what I'm working on now. Additionally, this could turn into an even further development beginning in September, depending on the work I do and the choices I make in the next two weeks. Suffice it to say, my brain is like a cauldron right now. Not to mention there's lots of personal shit at stake that I won't even get into right now.

So you see where I've been and why it's been difficult to really move forward on this final scene of my pride and joy of a cartoon. I'm devoting as much of that downtime as I can to finishing it.

These weeks have been a fucking storm of epic proportions, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Thanks for bearing with me. I'm the suckiest animator ever for making people wait so long to see my shit. I apologize again and again.

I'm trying my best. Just stay with me.

- Fred

Busy Bees Collect More Honey.

Hello there,

Just a quick word. Today I'm working intermittently on Gun episode 2. Woot. First time I'm getting to do some real work on it in what feels like forever. Got some new words of encouragement from new fans, which is always nice to hear, and totally motivating.

But sadly, tomorrow is the May 4th, 2-year anniversary of the release of episode one. AND I'M STILL NOT FINISHED!!! ARRRGHH!!!

Hahaha. Ah well. I tried my best. But life lately has been crazy, and it could get potentially even crazier, if recent developments in my life take effect for real. Like, whoa, man. Whoa. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'm crackin a brew tomorrow night and drinking to two years of Gun-dom... and still no episode two!

You guys are either the most patient fans ever or the stupidest. Either way, I love ya.

Later.