Transitions and Tribulations

Happy July -whatever-day-it-is-today,

I have one more week.

In that time I will tape up the remains of my life here at Yale inside of dusty, used cardboard boxes addressed to other people for other purposes. I will take my earthly possessions and toss them haphazardly into the back of a van that has seen untold locations and carried an untold number of unknown people. Then I will pile these things against the walls I remember so well and hours later, I will step back into this setting that I've grown accustomed to for the past 14 months, as a visitor as opposed to an inhabitant.

I will say some of the hardest goodbyes I've said in a great while. It will not be easy. Life has a funny way of making things beautifully fucked up sometimes. I won't get into it, but suffice it to say, I'll be doing the one thing I never imagined doing when I got here - I'll be leaving something behind when I turn my back on Yale.

This all means that in 6 weeks, I'll be starting up a brand new leg of the race, namely graduate school. I'll be back home where things make sense and people I care about surround me. It should be good.

This means that during those 6 weeks, I can take a bit of time away from the stresses I've become acclimated to over the past year-and-then-some to boost my productivity, and in the process try to ignore or work through the things that have made the past two months so difficult for me on the personal side of things.

I have no idea how things will turn out, but I'm confident that when I know, you will too.

Preparatory

Hi.

Just a quick update -

I'm still working like a beast. Nothing new there. Going manic. Life has been beyond crazy the past few weeks. I'll refrain from commenting on it all. Suffice it to say major things have occurred and I'm handling it all the only way I know how. Major things will occur in the coming weeks too. I'm preparing to say goodbye. It will be surprisingly harder than I originally imagined, despite the generally awful ongoings of the past year.

Anyway, this post basically is an insubstantial update, letting you know I'm alive for now, and doing what I can with what I have at my disposal. We'll see where this road leads.

- Fred

Labbing.

Not just in a manner of speaking. I'm in the midst of hardcore, knuckle-down creative work. Yes, on Gun episode 2. I'm trying my best to see this through... no weekend trip, no work, just me and the tools of my trade.

I've sacrificed a fun, relaxing, and much-needed weekend at home to instead stay here in Shitsville and convert my 9-5 space into the makeshift Heretik Studios production floor. As I said before, I'm determined to shut myself up in this space regularly until significant strides are made. It seems to be the only way I can realistically achieve progress in my own life anymore.

Reflecting on it, I'm not too proud of it, nor am I at all pleased with it... but I have to do what I have to do.

Spin the wheels. Back to work.

- Fred...

Excess, Recess, Loss, and Gain.

I have been away from Flash for far too long.
I have been working far too hard.
I have been drinking far too much.
I have been taking far too many pills.
I have been eating far too little.
I have been thinking far too frequently.

The reality of this morning hasn't hit me yet. I don't know when it will. But I know that it will at some point, and I'm just hoping I don't fly off the deep end as a result.

Just when I thought all this wasn't enough, next week at Yale is going to be an absolute shit show. Ridiculous commutes and undoubtedly stressful days at work. Entertaining visitors from across the pond. Trying to maintain a balance between productivity and insanity, all while doing my best Lucille Ball impression, so to speak.

So what have I gained as a result?

Other than a few new pieces of art and the opportunity to work on a few more... nothing. No site updates. No follow through. Nothing.

What's left?

That, I have yet to see.